To be told you are special, is something that can make your heart lurch or dance. It is different coming from someone who is not family, or you haven't known them for very long.
To be told you have a gift. Can make you wonder. As it did me.
But during that moment I realized one simple thing.
I cannot see myself as others do.
I don't see myself with others because I'm unable to. I don't hear my own voice the same way, or think of my art or writings to ramblings in the same light. Because I am muddling it all up in my mind with other thoughts that come in but are unspoken.
However, there are people that do.
There are people now who have told me something so simple that it has made me rethink so much. Because I over-complicate, I do know that. Almost as if I love to make them complicated, when in reality I don't need too, or in fact want too.
"You've got something in you girl!"
That is all it took! That's all I needed that night. That phrase, along with the prayer we had been doing. It felt real.
And to tell you the truth, I don't think I have felt truly real in a long long time. Probably because I am in a world where being real means being different, yet I am both and neither at the same time. But no longer. I am real. And I am real in Jesus Christ. He has filled me up, and I am ready to write, or to speak, whichever it may be right now. Because these are my gifts that I wish to work through. I have gifts that I may not even acknowledge. But writing is one that I know I have been given, and one that I wish to use.
May it be art or another form of praise or of teaching, I don't know. But right now I do know that writing is the one thing that I do have. That I know I can use without fail.
I know you're out there reading. I know you're watching.
You might never comment, you might never like a post. I am actually fine with that, because as soon as things like that come, they become a thing you feel like you have to see it to keep writing. I've come this far without them. For all I know I'll disable the comments so that I don't have to worry about it. But then I think, "Maybe not."
Because I never know who will be out there, I don't know who will need to talk. So this just to say. The thing that it takes for you to realize the wonders in yourself, may be simpler than anything else in this world. Follow Him, follow Christ. I don't care if you go to a church building every Sunday, or maybe you just go to a friends house that does. Or maybe you go on a Wednesday night for just a single service.
I encourage you to listen to God. And listen in your heart for what He sees and hears in you. I was unbelieving at one point. I was unsure. And I didn't really know Him. And I cant really say that I do know Him all that well even now. Because in all reality, I am a new believer. But I encourage you, whoever you may be, to find Him. For He will be with you forever, just call on His name. He will answer. In His time, He will make things right.
To be told you have a gift. Can make you wonder. As it did me.
But during that moment I realized one simple thing.
I cannot see myself as others do.
I don't see myself with others because I'm unable to. I don't hear my own voice the same way, or think of my art or writings to ramblings in the same light. Because I am muddling it all up in my mind with other thoughts that come in but are unspoken.
However, there are people that do.
There are people now who have told me something so simple that it has made me rethink so much. Because I over-complicate, I do know that. Almost as if I love to make them complicated, when in reality I don't need too, or in fact want too.
"You've got something in you girl!"
That is all it took! That's all I needed that night. That phrase, along with the prayer we had been doing. It felt real.
And to tell you the truth, I don't think I have felt truly real in a long long time. Probably because I am in a world where being real means being different, yet I am both and neither at the same time. But no longer. I am real. And I am real in Jesus Christ. He has filled me up, and I am ready to write, or to speak, whichever it may be right now. Because these are my gifts that I wish to work through. I have gifts that I may not even acknowledge. But writing is one that I know I have been given, and one that I wish to use.
May it be art or another form of praise or of teaching, I don't know. But right now I do know that writing is the one thing that I do have. That I know I can use without fail.
I know you're out there reading. I know you're watching.
You might never comment, you might never like a post. I am actually fine with that, because as soon as things like that come, they become a thing you feel like you have to see it to keep writing. I've come this far without them. For all I know I'll disable the comments so that I don't have to worry about it. But then I think, "Maybe not."
Because I never know who will be out there, I don't know who will need to talk. So this just to say. The thing that it takes for you to realize the wonders in yourself, may be simpler than anything else in this world. Follow Him, follow Christ. I don't care if you go to a church building every Sunday, or maybe you just go to a friends house that does. Or maybe you go on a Wednesday night for just a single service.
I encourage you to listen to God. And listen in your heart for what He sees and hears in you. I was unbelieving at one point. I was unsure. And I didn't really know Him. And I cant really say that I do know Him all that well even now. Because in all reality, I am a new believer. But I encourage you, whoever you may be, to find Him. For He will be with you forever, just call on His name. He will answer. In His time, He will make things right.
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