Bluebirds and Birch trees

 Nostalgia's not a bad thing, so long as you don't let it take away from your future.

 There's hope. There's always hope. Even when others tell you there's not. There's hope. There's hope my friend for new beginnings.  There's hope for new things. There's hope for beginnings. So don't give up my friend. There's always hope for new beginnings.  Whether it take you far or leave you near. There's always hope for your new beginning. Where will it take you, and what will you do. Even if you don't have the answer, God says, "I do."  Run to Him my friends, as I am learning to. Run into His loving arms. We'll find no better sanctuary.

I have a guitar. Have I ever told you that? She's a lovely cherry red, I call her Aurora. Well, I do now anyways. It wasn't until recently that she had a name at all. You see, I wanted to name her something to do with gold because that's the color of her strings. And if it's one thing that school has taught me, it's that AU stands for gold.  AU for gold. Aurora for Aurora Borealis. When I think of the Aurora Borealis, I think of space and how beautiful it is. It's so full of colors that capture the eye and can take you beyond imagination. Words dare to describe the sheer terrifying beauty of space and all that it contains.  Space contains so many stars. Stars that sailors used to sail by. I often now wonder what it would be like to lay awake at night and stare up at the stars. For the night is not as dark as it seems. I wonder what it would be like to lie awake on the deck of a ship as the waves rock me to sleep while I gaze up at the sky. I wonder what it...

 Why hello there readers! Have you come to join me today? For on this, the February the seventh, is my two year Blogiversary! To be honest, I don't know what all to include on such a thing as a Blogiversary. But, I've got to start somewhere!  How this all came around on this little blog of mine, was short list, and a rather simple goal. Summer 2015 - A Brief List 1. Learn as much as I can. 2. Be the best I can be. 3. Connect stronger with God. 4. Do the things that have been set in my heart to do! And the goal, of writing one short story for every day of the year. Because, as I said then– "It's impossible to write 365 bad short stories if you write one a day!" (I'm quite certain I'm quoting someone here.) So how did that all go so far? Well, let's see. Learn as much as I can... well, that's quite a lofty goal. But I'll say that I've managed to learn what it is that I've needed to learn when I n...

Grab the keys, and get in the car. We're going drivin' don't you worry, it's not far. We're gonna sing till the sun comes up, hit the green light, fill 'er on up. Get the gas and turn the key 'cause my friend, we're gonna get Slushies. Mango, pineapple, and strawberry too. I'll order Fanta, and grab a Malt too. We're gettin' slushies, and just before ten. So don't you worry my friend, we'll be back home 'fore then. I got mine, and you got yours. Drive on safe now and watch the road, our Slushies in hand and we're headin' on home. But don't you worry my friend, 'cause we'll be back before ten. An Ode to 10 o'clock Slushies©Mae Fort

 I wish you all, my wonderful dear readers, a very Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year. I know this year might have been tough, or things might not have gone your way. But a new year is coming, and a new day is on its way.  I pray for God to bless you on this precious day, and I pray for His peace and love to rest in your hearts and minds.  Go in peace, and may the glory of God be with you. Merry Christmas, love, Mae.

 The thing about being melancholy, is that I am homesick for places I have never been, and missing people I have never met. Yet all at once, I melancholy all the same, because I am missing those I have yet to see again.

 You know those times, when you don't feel like going to youth group–but you go anyway, and it turns out to be a really good idea?  If you don't, then maybe you should try it sometime. Sometimes you'll hear something you never expected.

 Be who you are and not who the world wants you to be.  Who would the world want me to be? A girl who's already got one foot out the door for college as soon as my high school diploma is in my hand. The girl that has so much debt already racked up before I'm 20 that I'll spend most of my beginning and middle adult life paying it off. The one who tried smoking just to say I did, or the one who disrespected my parents at every turn. Who would the world want me to be? They would want me to be a nobody. To not make any waves. Who would they want me to be, other than nobody significant.  But who am I? I'm the girl who's working on a plan for how I'm going to start my first job as soon as I graduate. Working on becoming self sufficient for the time that I know will come, which is to be on my own. The girl who got only a basic credit card to pay off, and not use until a real emergency arises. The girl who does her very best in order to stay healthy in a world that ...

 I find it so facinating most days that I can have so many friends, and we are all so different from one another. Yet, somehow, we all manage to get along (most the time, you gotta make allowances for some mess ups from time to time).  Also, the fact that if I include all of the friends I have made face to face, along with those I have met online, I have only greatly increased the number of people I have known, and have gotten to know at that point that many more different people.  We have blogs some of us, and all of us blog quite differently to be honest. But if we all blogged the same, then who would want to read us?  Our paths cross sometimes in the matter of topics or discussions, occasionally responding to one another with ideas or our nominations for blog ideas. But, still, I find it so fascinating, that as a girl who once wasn't sure if she'd ever make friends, could come to have so many.  I have lost count in regards to the number of friends I hav...

 Oh how often I tend to ignore such a profound and true statement.  It's not that I choose to be someone who has a multitude of objects and things, it's just that so many times through the years, I just couldn't bear to think about getting rid of anything .   But now, things are changing, and I am changing. So I have come to stop trying to resist the change that inevitably needs to happen.  Because it's that one process that you learn is the hardest part of growing up; you need to learn to let go.  To learn to let go, is not always an easy thing. Whether it be for an object, or a person. Because life moves so rapidly, that we can easily become stuck in the past. To change is not easy, because it requires growth. And when looking back to childhood, you always experienced growing pains. A lost tooth, a gained inch, broadening of shoulders, and a deepening of the voice. All things that you experience when you grow, can be a pain. Whether physical, or emotiona...

So I vanished for a while. Probably because of many things that happened, and many things that life threw my way. Till I guess one day I suddenly decided to check on something not mine, only to find I'd been nominated for something back in May by a good dear friend, Bronze .  What better way to make it back than to have something to write about! Rules: Thank the person who nominated you. Nominate 3 new bloggers every day. Post a new quote every day for 3 days. Today's quote: Would it be cheating to add another quote, to describe my first quote? I'll do it anyway, though I'll do two more–A lady with class is timeless. I'm not saying learn to drink tea a certain way or how to sit and stand or how to say 'please' and 'thank you.' Quite contrary, what I am trying to say is–Be a woman who's first thought and priorities are God. Granted, I struggle myself with that alone, but so do all people. But that should never ever stop you from ...

 So much seems to have happened already this year. And although we have so much of it left, we've already seen so much.  I feel like I've suddenly grown-up, and even though I know I have a long ways to go still, I can't help but feel like it's not as bad as I've come to imagine.  Here I am, in my last year of high school, getting ready to land my very first job. Prepping to get a drivers license, and finally figuring out that I do in fact want to dye part of my hair.  It might sound normal to everyone who's already gone and done it all, but the fact of the matter is that for each and every person who's about to go and do it--it might be more than a little scary.  I find myself thinking more and more lately about the past, when I would play for the whole day with my beanie babies (you had at least one I'm sure!) and play dress up with my imaginary friends. But also, not much has changed since then.  I still play with my beanie babies because I did...

 I've been doing Tai Chi for 16 days now, and in the past week have had almost no back pain whatsoever! Frankly, I'm amazed at the fact that doing something so simple as Tai Chi, even if it's just a half hour out of my day, can provide such amazing results.  That and, a good number of the pains that I had been feeling, some of them were actually from me growing. I've grown an inch in the past four months, which does explain some things!  I've also been trying to grow mentally, especially in regards to my writing. I don't want to keep it hidden any more, and I don't want to just let it go unfinished.  My brain's previous logic was severely flawed which was, "I'm afraid of what will happen once I finish this, but I'm afraid to not finish this before a certain time in my life, so I won't work on it at all."  ^^^ try looking my profile picture in the eye and tell me that's not flawed logic. I don't want to keep my writing ...

 So much happened today, so I'll try to to this in some semblance of an order.  First off, today's excursion was a bit overshadowed by a doctor's appointment in the early afternoon, but the things leading up to it made it a little bit better by each little event, and a few others made the waiting for results far more bearable.  Things started off by going to a grocery store that my family loves, at which about five minutes into shopping, two little girls started saying. "She has a Elsa braid!" I had to look for a couple seconds before I saw them, and their mother was smiling at me and asked if I had seen the movie (Which I had). And the two girls continued to say I looked like Elsa, and every time we went past them in the store, one or both of the girls would stare at me until we were out of sight. So today, I was mistaken for a Disney Princess, and that made me feel wonderful!  Then, at the checkout of the same store, I got some free advice relating to coll...

 You know, I often don't give people around me the credit they deserve. I've been going to this church for about a year now I guess, and already they seem to know me more than those I spent longer time with in churches.  These people don't know about my bout with depression, anxiety, or hardly anything about my past troubles or what may cause me to be suddenly plunged into a period of grief.  Yet, they seem to always know when I need to smile. People are happy to see me, and that makes me feel important. They make sure to acknowledge me in a group of people, that makes me feel noticed. I am high-fived, or hugged more often than not by pretty much anyone who knows me, and that makes me feel special.  Thanks to an extremely important service today, I was able to finally see that the problems I have been having are not with me, but the people who rejected me.  I was rejected for three years and didn't really know it.  I changed so they would like me, but ...

I was reminded earlier today that you really can do the impossible. Who was it that reminded me this? Myself. From five years ago. All to often lately I can feel my dreams and imagination getting smaller and smaller, shrinking just ever so slightly every single day.  But of all things to remind me that I have an imagination and can truly and really with all honesty do the impossible, was old artwork.  I remember how I felt when I drew those drawings, I remember how proud I felt of myself for accomplishing all that I did when I colored them and drew them with such confidence.  That is what I lack now. Confidence.  Confidence can be something you have, or something you learn. For me, it is something I had, and then lost, and needed to learn once again.  I've been contemplating selling artwork lately, to try and earn money and to gain something, what exactly I have no clue. But all I can think right now is that all I'm doing is I'm sitting on my hands and ke...

 It is only by the grace of God that I am still standing here on this earth. It is only by the grace of God that I draw breath, and am whole. Everything I am, is by the Grace of God.  Two years ago, a part of my life started that would not end for a long time, and is in some ways still ongoing.  Two years ago, in 2014, unknowingly began what I would now call the year of hell.  I was a bystander to verbal abuse and hate. I lived in close quarters with people that I became to be afraid of, and did not speak up. I hid, and I tried to hide in ways that never really worked, but have now become habits that are hard to break.  I kept silent during the calms, for fear that a wrong word would stir up a storm from a simple disagreement.  I often took to walking to a friends house just down the road, to see if they were outside and could hang out for a while. And to my knowledge they still don't know what transpired.  It is only by the grace of God that I ...

 You ever hear of working a problem backwards? I can't remember the exact wording for it, but it's when you're having trouble with any given problem and decide to work at it from the opposite direction. I'd like to say that I had tried this before with things, but actually I haven't. Not until today.  I tried to break a tried and true method for writing a story, and as a result have been stuck on this story for more than two years. Yesterday during church, I had a realization. I'm writing my story backwards. Not just, how I'm doing it, but the fact that the ending is all I have, is actually my beginning. And my beginning, is the ending. I tried to start a story where it didn't begin, and the further I'd go back, the more it seemed to be an ending. But the moment I turned this story around, and have started working at it from the opposite side, it's falling into place. Slowly, and then all at once. The way the story is meant to be written...

I'm starting to think I'll never get to those 9 drafted blog posts. But every time I open up my blog to write, none of them come out at me to say, "Me! Finish me!" But I think that's okay. Because you know what, I'm not normal. I don't think anyone is ever what the "civilized" world would call, normal. Not when you reach down to who they really are. No one I have met, has ever qualified to be "normal." We all have weird passions and strangely timed hobbies. Some of us have jobs while others don't, but that's not what makes a person "normal." Normal is a label given to people from other people who feel that someone has done a good job at being a social and successful human being. News Flash : Normal doesn't equal life. You have a job, that's great! Or not, maybe you don't like it. I have a part time job of sorts, great, you make money, hopefully. You don't have a job, depending on situation, that ...