Bluebirds and Birch trees

 Some might call it re-inventing themselves, others say they're justing finding out who they really are. To be true, I'm not so sure that either of those statements are actually wrong. It all depends on what it is you wish to accomplish.  To re-invent yourself means to purposefully change your self in a manner that you otherwise normally wouldn't do. To change things in a deliberate and meaningful manner.  To find yourself, is to try and explore things until one of them seems right. And to keep on doing that again and again until it seems impossible to find anything more you than you already have.  But do we really need to do that? Do we really  need  to?  Probably not. But we do it anyway. Why, you ask? Well because of this, we're human. We wish to know who we are, we want to know what is it that we're capable of accomplishing even if it's just finding who we are and who we're meant to be.  But for more it is only a hollow pursuit.  ...

 There's hope. There's always hope. Even when others tell you there's not. There's hope. There's hope my friend for new beginnings.  There's hope for new things. There's hope for beginnings. So don't give up my friend. There's always hope for new beginnings.  Whether it take you far or leave you near. There's always hope for your new beginning. Where will it take you, and what will you do. Even if you don't have the answer, God says, "I do."  Run to Him my friends, as I am learning to. Run into His loving arms. We'll find no better sanctuary.

 On one jacket I own, is a pattern of various stars. Some of them large, others small. While it might not be the warmest or even the prettiest, it's special to me because of those small stars.  I don't know when exactly stars started being so special to me. Maybe it was on one of those days when I realized that compared to somewhere I'd once been, the sky I see outside my window now holds so few.  Was it the day I saw the moon. Or the night the light came streaming through my window, bathing my bed in clean moonlight. The day I saw the full moon with clarity in its pale fullness. Or the night when the pale light eased my fears.  I do not know exactly when the night sky came to be so important to me.  All that I know is, I would not trade it. Not for the glow of the city nor spotlight.  Nothing manmade can yet compare to the serenity of that comforting moonlight as it spills through my bedroom window.

 Why hello there readers! Have you come to join me today? For on this, the February the seventh, is my two year Blogiversary! To be honest, I don't know what all to include on such a thing as a Blogiversary. But, I've got to start somewhere!  How this all came around on this little blog of mine, was short list, and a rather simple goal. Summer 2015 - A Brief List 1. Learn as much as I can. 2. Be the best I can be. 3. Connect stronger with God. 4. Do the things that have been set in my heart to do! And the goal, of writing one short story for every day of the year. Because, as I said then– "It's impossible to write 365 bad short stories if you write one a day!" (I'm quite certain I'm quoting someone here.) So how did that all go so far? Well, let's see. Learn as much as I can... well, that's quite a lofty goal. But I'll say that I've managed to learn what it is that I've needed to learn when I n...

Grab the keys, and get in the car. We're going drivin' don't you worry, it's not far. We're gonna sing till the sun comes up, hit the green light, fill 'er on up. Get the gas and turn the key 'cause my friend, we're gonna get Slushies. Mango, pineapple, and strawberry too. I'll order Fanta, and grab a Malt too. We're gettin' slushies, and just before ten. So don't you worry my friend, we'll be back home 'fore then. I got mine, and you got yours. Drive on safe now and watch the road, our Slushies in hand and we're headin' on home. But don't you worry my friend, 'cause we'll be back before ten. An Ode to 10 o'clock Slushies©Mae Fort

 So often, oh so often, things in life bog us down. And we wonder, "why?" My friend, life is hard. But at the same time, are you taking care of yourself? Now I don't mean that in a discouraging way, on the contrary, what I'm asking is, "are you taking care of your health and wellbeing?"  It's easy to get caught up in life and have things easily slip away from us and out from underneath the limelight. I know, it happens to me all the time. But one thing I am endeavoring to change for certain this year, is how well I take care of myself. Such as: drinking more water, getting at least 1 hr. of high cardio a week to start, not eating so much sugar, spending less time on the computer and more time reading books, less time watching tv and more time studying.  These things, can be either simple or hard, it just depends on how you look at it. Drinking water: I don't know when this became a "problem" for me, I just stopped drinking as much ...

 Today, January 1st, 2017.  I didn't go to sleep until well past 1 AM, and woke up about 8 hours later.  I didn't finish a drawing I was working on, until close to 12:30 in the morning.  I didn't do a lot of things this past year that I could have. But I won't let that stop me from doing my best this  year.  I use the word I a lot. Because I find myself both easy and hard to talk about. I talk about myself and my experiences, because I don't know what else to say.  Sometimes I'll post a word, or maybe a story, an opinion, who knows. But for the most part, I've talked about myself because I don't really know what to say. So how about this for a change:  Talk more about things, people or places. I mean, come on. I feel like I spend all of my time researching. Have something I talk about consistently maybe once a month or once a week. Share joys, not sorrows.  Three goals for my blog. How about three goals for me: Grow c...

 I wish you all, my wonderful dear readers, a very Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year. I know this year might have been tough, or things might not have gone your way. But a new year is coming, and a new day is on its way.  I pray for God to bless you on this precious day, and I pray for His peace and love to rest in your hearts and minds.  Go in peace, and may the glory of God be with you. Merry Christmas, love, Mae.

 If I could not find a single thing to be thankful for this Thanksgiving, than I would be lying. True this year has had it's ups and downs in many degrees, but throughout it all, I am still here, and that alone is something to be thankful for.  If I had the chance to do it over again, I don't think I would, because then I wouldn't be the me I am here today.  All circumstances that have happened, happened. There is no denying that. But, I am thankful that I am still here, I am alive.  I am alive.  I live in a house.  I have food to eat.  Water to drink.  Schoolwork to do, because that means I have knowledge available to me.  Dishes to clean because we have been well fed.  Floors to sweep and shelves to dust because we have a home.  Tables to clear because we have abilities and hobbies we can pursue.  Rooms to clean because we have personalities.  Blankets and beds because of provision.  Warm sweaters and s...

 My hands smell like paint. My heart is beating faithfully, and the music in my ears––is building steadily.  While life might throw things at us every single day, you do have to look for the good things in life that are able to bring joy in such simple ways.  My hands smell of paint and soap. The room is dusty, but the books are full. The music is raging, and the love is pouring.  I might not always be able to see you, my friends. But do know this––you bring with you a joy that can reach into my heart. When I am sad, you cheer me up. When I mourn, you cry with me. When I laugh, you laugh with me.  Most importantly, when I praise our King and Savior, you praise with me.  And I feel blessed to have such friends as you. I pray the Lord will bless you as much as He has blessed me. Love, and hugs,  -Mae

This is a post about---If you had three words to describe yourself (a color, a sound, a word of your choice) what would they be? As asked by Mandy, from NaNoWriMo. Mine: Lavender, Birds, Searching. It's color of my hands as I sit here and watch. The feeling that I have when I'm bundled up all soft. The feeling of the wind as it runs through my hair, it's the crisp morning air as I whisper, and ne'er. How do I look when the water turns cold, yet it's the beauty that I see when the heather is foretold. The sense that I feel when the light is not yet dawned, it's the time of the day when it is not quite beyond. The color in this place of time, that I find to be, lavender. The sound when morning is just a frond, the paleness of the plants and growing tendrils. The glittering notes that you hear just outside. It's clear, yet soft, but it's enough. To make the world sound so near. The sound of birds. Restless, yet inviting. Searching, and enticing....

 Sometimes, admitting your problems is hard, whether it's because you don't want to appear helpless in some occasions, or because admitting them would seem to acknowledge that they exist.  I am one and the same with both of those problems. But there are some instances I have learned, where admitting you have a problem, is the first step to overcoming them. Because by denying that you're struggling, can do more damage than good.  I don't like to admit that I have problems because I have pride. That pride has never gotten me anywhere worthwhile when it comes to facing my problems. I am proud because I don't want help, and don't want to appear helpless. I'm proud because I don't want to admit that there's something that could be potentially dragging me down.  I had a frightening experience the other day. I know full well that I am not as physically capable/able as many of my friends, that is one part of my problem. Because I don't want to appe...

 You know those times, when you don't feel like going to youth group–but you go anyway, and it turns out to be a really good idea?  If you don't, then maybe you should try it sometime. Sometimes you'll hear something you never expected.

 Be who you are and not who the world wants you to be.  Who would the world want me to be? A girl who's already got one foot out the door for college as soon as my high school diploma is in my hand. The girl that has so much debt already racked up before I'm 20 that I'll spend most of my beginning and middle adult life paying it off. The one who tried smoking just to say I did, or the one who disrespected my parents at every turn. Who would the world want me to be? They would want me to be a nobody. To not make any waves. Who would they want me to be, other than nobody significant.  But who am I? I'm the girl who's working on a plan for how I'm going to start my first job as soon as I graduate. Working on becoming self sufficient for the time that I know will come, which is to be on my own. The girl who got only a basic credit card to pay off, and not use until a real emergency arises. The girl who does her very best in order to stay healthy in a world that ...

 Last night I had my first ballet class in over 10 years. It was so much fun! Not to mention I met some cool people there as well. I'm going to probably be taking the class consistently, though this first time was just a drop in to see if I would even like doing it–which I did! I look forward to doing a dance class once a week or so.  For those of you that don't know, I injured one of my knees a little under 2 years ago while doing some craziness, pulling a muscle that connects to the kneecap. The other was messed up several years before that, the muscles off to the outside and a little below the knee get painful cramps when it's cold and damp.  However! I'm still one of the most competitive people I know. Mainly because I have a great deal of pride, and that's not a good thing. Though, at the same time, I don't always let my injuries slow me down. I'm still one of the more active dancers at my youth group, and I'm probably one of the ones more willin...

 Resolutions can be quite strange can't they? One moment you're wondering about something, then something in you just decides–No. You're not going to do that any more.  I often wonder if others feel this way. If you are just thinking about a part of your life, that hasn't changed in forever, yet you wonder why you just let it keep going. Till finally, one day just out of the blue, you take a stand and say, "No more."  Mine are always when I expect them least. Which is a good thing I suppose! Though, I often wonder why I hadn't taken that ability into my hands sooner, since I had them all the while.  The resolution, to not let something in your life keep you stuck. To let something keep you from doing what you need to, or wanting to. Knowing that if you throw in everything you've got, that you'll no longer be a slave to that thing that's keeping you stuck.  I know with others, it can be more difficult with certain things, but you can't...

 I find it so facinating most days that I can have so many friends, and we are all so different from one another. Yet, somehow, we all manage to get along (most the time, you gotta make allowances for some mess ups from time to time).  Also, the fact that if I include all of the friends I have made face to face, along with those I have met online, I have only greatly increased the number of people I have known, and have gotten to know at that point that many more different people.  We have blogs some of us, and all of us blog quite differently to be honest. But if we all blogged the same, then who would want to read us?  Our paths cross sometimes in the matter of topics or discussions, occasionally responding to one another with ideas or our nominations for blog ideas. But, still, I find it so fascinating, that as a girl who once wasn't sure if she'd ever make friends, could come to have so many.  I have lost count in regards to the number of friends I hav...

 So much seems to have happened already this year. And although we have so much of it left, we've already seen so much.  I feel like I've suddenly grown-up, and even though I know I have a long ways to go still, I can't help but feel like it's not as bad as I've come to imagine.  Here I am, in my last year of high school, getting ready to land my very first job. Prepping to get a drivers license, and finally figuring out that I do in fact want to dye part of my hair.  It might sound normal to everyone who's already gone and done it all, but the fact of the matter is that for each and every person who's about to go and do it--it might be more than a little scary.  I find myself thinking more and more lately about the past, when I would play for the whole day with my beanie babies (you had at least one I'm sure!) and play dress up with my imaginary friends. But also, not much has changed since then.  I still play with my beanie babies because I did...

18 days since I last posted on here. 18 days since I haven't really had much to say. 18 days. A number of people are going to be turning 18 this year. We're all panicking together. Though, I think I'm starting to panic less as I realize that I don't in fact actually need to panic. 18 is just a number. 18 is just another part of life. I want to change my thinking process, to no longer be fearful of simply turning another year older. Because now, more and more, I'm realizing just how blessed I am to have this life. 18 years alive on this earth, is a blessing. I've always not been one to hurry, whether to get my ears pierced, to learn how to drive, or be brave enough to go to a sleep over. My life is full of slower processes. Many people don't seem to grasp that. But those that do have come to respect the fact that that's a part of me, and who I am. That I like to take my time, because most times when I go blindly rushing in, it doesn't end well....

 I've been doing Tai Chi for 16 days now, and in the past week have had almost no back pain whatsoever! Frankly, I'm amazed at the fact that doing something so simple as Tai Chi, even if it's just a half hour out of my day, can provide such amazing results.  That and, a good number of the pains that I had been feeling, some of them were actually from me growing. I've grown an inch in the past four months, which does explain some things!  I've also been trying to grow mentally, especially in regards to my writing. I don't want to keep it hidden any more, and I don't want to just let it go unfinished.  My brain's previous logic was severely flawed which was, "I'm afraid of what will happen once I finish this, but I'm afraid to not finish this before a certain time in my life, so I won't work on it at all."  ^^^ try looking my profile picture in the eye and tell me that's not flawed logic. I don't want to keep my writing ...