This Year
So much seems to have happened already this year. And although we have so much of it left, we've already seen so much.
I feel like I've suddenly grown-up, and even though I know I have a long ways to go still, I can't help but feel like it's not as bad as I've come to imagine.
Here I am, in my last year of high school, getting ready to land my very first job. Prepping to get a drivers license, and finally figuring out that I do in fact want to dye part of my hair.
It might sound normal to everyone who's already gone and done it all, but the fact of the matter is that for each and every person who's about to go and do it--it might be more than a little scary.
I find myself thinking more and more lately about the past, when I would play for the whole day with my beanie babies (you had at least one I'm sure!) and play dress up with my imaginary friends. But also, not much has changed since then.
I still play with my beanie babies because I didn't have the heart to get rid of them, and they still warm my heart. I do dress up, but far more intricate than back then, typically making costumes for parties or competitions. And as far as my imaginary friends are concerned, I'm not the only one who talks to them, because now they have names and stories; that's one of the perils of being a writer!
I used to think make-up was pretty for a while, then I hit a streak where I thought it was one of the dumbest things in the world. Now I think that if people like it than they can wear it, I just choose not to unless I'm feeling particularly fancy.
I went through a lot of things in my life already, more than most have I've been told. But all I can think is, "I'm still here."
I've learned how to walk when nobody else seemed able to hold my hand. And at the same time I've learned it's okay to ask for help. We might be big, but it doesn't mean that sometimes we don't need help.
Learning to ask for help is hard, and something I couldn't manage to find the words for for over a year. By the time I did, more things had already happened in my life.
I'm on the brink. They say that graduating is where your life begins. But I'd like to think of it as simply the next step. The next step towards the life I'm intended to go into to.
I didn't want to grow up because that meant leaving things behind. Or so I thought. I thought it meant leaving behind the things I loved, but it's not. It's about simply leaving behind the things that can no longer help you to go forward in your life, whether it be physical, emotional, or spiritual. God has helped me in so many ways already in this year that I cannot count them.
I'm a light. I'm a light that shines so very very brightly. And quite honestly a good portion of this year has been me finding out that I really shouldn't be hidden. Do not put the light underneath a bowl, because who does that?
Right now I'm doing 2 things that I think are really cool. One, memorizing Proverbs 27, because verse 1 seemed to do a whole lot more for me than a lot of others have in a while! Because I've been guilty of bragging and boasting, and it's gotten me into trouble. Second, studying Chemistry. IS THE PERIODIC TABLE COOL OR WHAT!?
I've been encouraged in the past to memorize parts of the bible, though I wouldn't always like the parts that had been picked for me to memorize. Now I'm going with the one I've picked out, because all they said was, "Pick one you like, and memorize it. It's you who's got to memorize it."
Chemistry is one of the more easily understood sciences for me so far. Each definite element, and the things they can do by combining two or more! (Also makes me appreciate Honey Lemon's character from Big Hero 6 more, seriously! She's coming up with those chemical reactions on the go as soon at the battle starts! Which also means knowing what a good portion of your surroundings are composed of.) It might have a lot too it, but it's so cool!
Did I have a point to this? Yes I did. I might be growing up, but I still have a ways to go. I might be going more into adulthood by my own pace and willingness, but am I going to stop loving things passionately like a little kid? Heck no!
Age doesn't always matter when it comes to maturity, pretty much anybody can tell you that. Don't believe me? Go into a group of teenagers and I can almost guarantee you that the most mature one there, isn't going to be the oldest. In fact, I've been in groups where the oldest was the one that needed adult supervision as an adult, it's just how things are. But does that mean we are intelligent? No. It just means that some of us aren't there yet. Maturity might have been forced on me at first simply by circumstance, I then fought for my right to be a child. Now, I'm growing once again at my own pace, without it being thrust on me. And I can tell you, I feel so much better that I am.
Age doesn't always matter with maturity, because age is just a number. So it time, and so are dates, so are almost everything else in the adult world. So to be someone who doesn't particularly care for numbers, you can imagine that it's caused some difficulties along the way! Which is why I'm now in a field that doesn't always require them! There is something to be said about being a writer!
Have a wonderful day everybody :)
I feel like I've suddenly grown-up, and even though I know I have a long ways to go still, I can't help but feel like it's not as bad as I've come to imagine.
Here I am, in my last year of high school, getting ready to land my very first job. Prepping to get a drivers license, and finally figuring out that I do in fact want to dye part of my hair.
It might sound normal to everyone who's already gone and done it all, but the fact of the matter is that for each and every person who's about to go and do it--it might be more than a little scary.
I find myself thinking more and more lately about the past, when I would play for the whole day with my beanie babies (you had at least one I'm sure!) and play dress up with my imaginary friends. But also, not much has changed since then.
I still play with my beanie babies because I didn't have the heart to get rid of them, and they still warm my heart. I do dress up, but far more intricate than back then, typically making costumes for parties or competitions. And as far as my imaginary friends are concerned, I'm not the only one who talks to them, because now they have names and stories; that's one of the perils of being a writer!
I used to think make-up was pretty for a while, then I hit a streak where I thought it was one of the dumbest things in the world. Now I think that if people like it than they can wear it, I just choose not to unless I'm feeling particularly fancy.
I went through a lot of things in my life already, more than most have I've been told. But all I can think is, "I'm still here."
I've learned how to walk when nobody else seemed able to hold my hand. And at the same time I've learned it's okay to ask for help. We might be big, but it doesn't mean that sometimes we don't need help.
Learning to ask for help is hard, and something I couldn't manage to find the words for for over a year. By the time I did, more things had already happened in my life.
I'm on the brink. They say that graduating is where your life begins. But I'd like to think of it as simply the next step. The next step towards the life I'm intended to go into to.
I didn't want to grow up because that meant leaving things behind. Or so I thought. I thought it meant leaving behind the things I loved, but it's not. It's about simply leaving behind the things that can no longer help you to go forward in your life, whether it be physical, emotional, or spiritual. God has helped me in so many ways already in this year that I cannot count them.
I'm a light. I'm a light that shines so very very brightly. And quite honestly a good portion of this year has been me finding out that I really shouldn't be hidden. Do not put the light underneath a bowl, because who does that?
Right now I'm doing 2 things that I think are really cool. One, memorizing Proverbs 27, because verse 1 seemed to do a whole lot more for me than a lot of others have in a while! Because I've been guilty of bragging and boasting, and it's gotten me into trouble. Second, studying Chemistry. IS THE PERIODIC TABLE COOL OR WHAT!?
I've been encouraged in the past to memorize parts of the bible, though I wouldn't always like the parts that had been picked for me to memorize. Now I'm going with the one I've picked out, because all they said was, "Pick one you like, and memorize it. It's you who's got to memorize it."
Chemistry is one of the more easily understood sciences for me so far. Each definite element, and the things they can do by combining two or more! (Also makes me appreciate Honey Lemon's character from Big Hero 6 more, seriously! She's coming up with those chemical reactions on the go as soon at the battle starts! Which also means knowing what a good portion of your surroundings are composed of.) It might have a lot too it, but it's so cool!
Did I have a point to this? Yes I did. I might be growing up, but I still have a ways to go. I might be going more into adulthood by my own pace and willingness, but am I going to stop loving things passionately like a little kid? Heck no!
Age doesn't always matter when it comes to maturity, pretty much anybody can tell you that. Don't believe me? Go into a group of teenagers and I can almost guarantee you that the most mature one there, isn't going to be the oldest. In fact, I've been in groups where the oldest was the one that needed adult supervision as an adult, it's just how things are. But does that mean we are intelligent? No. It just means that some of us aren't there yet. Maturity might have been forced on me at first simply by circumstance, I then fought for my right to be a child. Now, I'm growing once again at my own pace, without it being thrust on me. And I can tell you, I feel so much better that I am.
Age doesn't always matter with maturity, because age is just a number. So it time, and so are dates, so are almost everything else in the adult world. So to be someone who doesn't particularly care for numbers, you can imagine that it's caused some difficulties along the way! Which is why I'm now in a field that doesn't always require them! There is something to be said about being a writer!
Have a wonderful day everybody :)
Comments
Post a Comment