Where it is due
You know, I often don't give people around me the credit they deserve. I've been going to this church for about a year now I guess, and already they seem to know me more than those I spent longer time with in churches.
These people don't know about my bout with depression, anxiety, or hardly anything about my past troubles or what may cause me to be suddenly plunged into a period of grief.
Yet, they seem to always know when I need to smile. People are happy to see me, and that makes me feel important. They make sure to acknowledge me in a group of people, that makes me feel noticed. I am high-fived, or hugged more often than not by pretty much anyone who knows me, and that makes me feel special.
Thanks to an extremely important service today, I was able to finally see that the problems I have been having are not with me, but the people who rejected me.
I was rejected for three years and didn't really know it.
I changed so they would like me, but it never happened, nor did they really show it.
I feel real here, I feel loved. I'm always acknowledged, and I think they know that. People who I've only met a handful of times are able to make me laugh with sincerity. I relate to them, because they're also real.
We make it a point here, to be real. Even though some people may be harder to get along with than others in friendships, I realized today that even they can know when to dial down the crazy.
I had bad allergies this morning to the pollen, or whatever was in the air that time, and someone who was usually quite loud was more mellow when I told him why I looked tired. That, and daylight savings it's extremely stupid, and doesn't really help anyone any more. (Nobody I've met at least, and I've lived in more places than I remember now.)
People can tell things more than I give them credit for about me. I was a little stressed this morning because I was having trouble breathing, and needed to get out of the sanctuary for a minute to grab a coffee to clear it up. Outside, I ran into some friends who'd been to first service and were hanging around for a few minutes before leaving.
It was a very amusing time, and I felt very well. Our hallway from our main entrance room has a very small doorway into the main hall that leads to all the other parts of the church building. I ran into someone right at the doorway, and had about a three or four minute banter/cajoling run-in. It ended with me giving a very genuine laugh, one that a friend hasn't been able to make me do without feeling silly in a very long time.
Thank you my friends, for helping me to laugh. You seem to know better than I most times when I need it most. Thank you all, for teaching me to feel loved again.
These people don't know about my bout with depression, anxiety, or hardly anything about my past troubles or what may cause me to be suddenly plunged into a period of grief.
Yet, they seem to always know when I need to smile. People are happy to see me, and that makes me feel important. They make sure to acknowledge me in a group of people, that makes me feel noticed. I am high-fived, or hugged more often than not by pretty much anyone who knows me, and that makes me feel special.
Thanks to an extremely important service today, I was able to finally see that the problems I have been having are not with me, but the people who rejected me.
I was rejected for three years and didn't really know it.
I changed so they would like me, but it never happened, nor did they really show it.
I feel real here, I feel loved. I'm always acknowledged, and I think they know that. People who I've only met a handful of times are able to make me laugh with sincerity. I relate to them, because they're also real.
We make it a point here, to be real. Even though some people may be harder to get along with than others in friendships, I realized today that even they can know when to dial down the crazy.
I had bad allergies this morning to the pollen, or whatever was in the air that time, and someone who was usually quite loud was more mellow when I told him why I looked tired. That, and daylight savings it's extremely stupid, and doesn't really help anyone any more. (Nobody I've met at least, and I've lived in more places than I remember now.)
People can tell things more than I give them credit for about me. I was a little stressed this morning because I was having trouble breathing, and needed to get out of the sanctuary for a minute to grab a coffee to clear it up. Outside, I ran into some friends who'd been to first service and were hanging around for a few minutes before leaving.
It was a very amusing time, and I felt very well. Our hallway from our main entrance room has a very small doorway into the main hall that leads to all the other parts of the church building. I ran into someone right at the doorway, and had about a three or four minute banter/cajoling run-in. It ended with me giving a very genuine laugh, one that a friend hasn't been able to make me do without feeling silly in a very long time.
Thank you my friends, for helping me to laugh. You seem to know better than I most times when I need it most. Thank you all, for teaching me to feel loved again.
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